Monday, March 08, 2004

In case you care, here's what I think:

So The Passion of Christ is the number one movie. Even my mom is like "So are you gonna see the Passion?"
Three words: FUCK THAT SHIT
And so it came to pass that in the 24th year of his existence, chiseven must again avoid being shamed into believing in Jesus Christ by the population around him. Look, I know that most people in this country are keen on Jesus and call themselves Christian but isn't this whole thing a little pornographic? Isn't seeing all the pain and suffering of Christ as the blood shoots everywhere kinda like a big gooey money-shot in a porn? Isn't watching someone writhe in agony or writhe in ecstasy just about the same thing for the viewer? Either way, the direct result is a tingly feeling in the back of the viewers head:

Porn-watcher: "Damn! He just shot it in her eye! Wish I could do that!" (Endorphins start to flow...a warm tingly feeling rushes over the body...internal monologue starts up: "maybe you should be having some sex right now. Orgasm=pleasure. Must-seek-pleasure.")
Passion-watcher: "Damn!(Sorry Lord.) J.C. suffered so much so that he could save me and the rest of humanity. What a sacrifice...how touching. This movie makes me feel really glad that I believe in J.C." (Endorphins start to flow...a warm tingly feeling rushes over the body...internal monologue starts up: "maybe you should be telling other people who aren't saved how good it feels to be saved. Sense of satisfaction derived from an external source confirms pre-conceived notions. Religion=pleasure, which =satisfaction on a larger scale. Must-inform-others-of-this-pleasure.")

Hmmm. Does that make sense? It does to me, but I guess I've rationalized it internally. Oh hell, it's my opinion and I don't care if anyone agrees or not.
Oh yeah, and don't think I'm all badmouthing religion or Christians (well, I guess I kinda am...hee hee) I mean, I think religion is good for some people. Not for me though. It's cool if you are a Christian but dammit, don't try and shame me into believing in your favorite character in a book. I mean, the words of J.C. are ill. What's that line about a camel having an easier time going through the eye of a needle than a rich man entering heaven? That shit's nice. See, I like J.C. as a character. He's like the Huey P. Newton of the bible. Oh, that and he is the ORIGINAL socialist. I guess my main beef with Christianity isn't the religion or the message but just the mentality of MOST people that claim to be Christian. It's like, "Motherfucker, do you even know what the guy who you think is gonna save you is even talkin about?"
Most Christians I know act like Christianity is a basketball team. Like when their favorite basketball team wins and they are all like "We Won!" when they didn't do shit but watch. It's not like most of Christians I know are really livin' by the word of Christ...they just believe in J.C. and that's that. They aren't actually gonna give spare change to that bum or realize that they are participating in an economic system that mocks the core beliefs of their religion. They just want to feel good because they are part of a larger whole...something that gives them a sense of purpose without demanding too much of a commitment.
Of course, there are people who are sincere Christians and live their life based on the religion and that's cool. I'm not talking about them...these people are beyond my judgment. But you hypocrites should feel my wrath. And then, get the balls.
Oh and one more thing, this whole deal about who killed Christ?
WHO CARES?
If you are a Christian you should realize that the whole point of J.C. was for him to die.
If Christ is not crucified then the religion is void. The whole point was him dying to save the rest of humanity. He was a martyr. He did what martyr's do. They die. Be happy for this.
If you are not a Christian then you won't care who killed Christ.
As a young Harvey Pekar says at the beginning of American Splendor:
"Why does everyone have to be so stupid?"
Out.

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