Sunday, April 18, 2004

Sounds Tainted To Me...

I saw this on my friends refridgerator, googled it and found out where it was so my visitors (waddap you two) could enjoy it as much as I did. And by that I mean, finding a theorem that I can refer to in moments of crisis, like say, when I'm desperately pretending that my hand is really Tyra Banks vagina, and I need some way to justify my actions so that I don't feel like a lonely, creepy pervert. So that way I can be like "oh man, this is sooo pathetic-but hey, remember girls are evil and there is no doubt that a hot evil woman like this would prefer anal really I'm doing them a favor by not condoning their evil wicked ways and-ah! Ah! Ahhhhh. Now what was I thinking about? Lord what a mess."

Or was that too personal?
If it was then do yourself a favor and never ask me about Japanese women either. RRRRRAHHHHH!

But, before I made my viewers squeamish, the ideas rattling around my head all had to do with relationships between women and men and the issues surrounding them.
Two of my best friends recently broke up with their girlfriends of 2 years each (which was a little weird) and I have had the pleasure (or something like that) of hanging out with them trying to figure out what went wrong with their respective relationships. While both of them came to different conclusions (in one case it was the man saying "damn, I was lying to myself" and the other it was "damn, that bitch was lying to me about sleeping with other people") it seems to me that the crux of a relationship is communication.
Now don't expect me to get all new-age metaphysical-feel-good-jive-talkin'-bullshit on you.
Hell no!
I mean, once people start getting past the initial dating stage and all that bullshit ("Oh you like Friends too? Wow, finally someone I can fuck who feels the same way I do! We must be soul-mates!") Don't these people owe it to each other to kinda lay out a map of what each person respects in the relationship?
I mean, if you are trying to fuck as many people as you can then perhaps you shouldn't be dating that devout Christian who thinks you are going to marry them. It seems to me though that honesty would be the best policy in relationships even if it breaks them up or whatever. Look, if your girlfriend gets offended when you make some comment like "damn girl your thighs look like a platter of cottage cheese" then maybe you two weren't meant to be. Plus, i don't know what yer doing with a girl who has cottage-cheese thighs...that's nasty dog! I just wonder if most of these people I see together are lying to themselves and their partners because they fear being alone. i think often, people lie to themselves and their partners as a compromise because they are too lame to not be in a relationship for any length of time. i know fools like that. Well, whatever, work is done for the day, so this post is as well.
Perhaps I'll be back to finish this thought....who knows? Who cares?

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