Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Whaddap Ya'll

Aiight, this is a weird post, so forgive me. So my roommate gets Maxim magazine. Let me say that I feel the same way about Maxim as I feel about say, modern abstract painting: It's pretty to look at but as far as I can see devoid of content. I was trying to come up with a simile for comparison but fuck it here's a insight to why Maxim sucks:
Their latest issue features Courtney Love's new album as the record of the month.
C'mon fellas, that skank has had her 15 minutes. Let her overdose alone. She needs no more attention.
I know she is a girl and she plays guitar but gentlemen...she is a terrible musician who rode the heroin-addled back of her former husband to mediocre-celebrity status. Now for the good of mankind, let's ignore her for good. I mean, Christ, she even did the "I-showed-my-boobs-to-David-Letterman-schtick-a-la-Drew-Barrymore" bit. ARRRRGH!
Overdose please. I will buy the heroin.
But...the whole reason I bring up the Maxim is because of an ad in the magaizine for some new Axe Body Spray. In this ad, they show a bikini-clad model riding a horse with a giant armpit with legs. Or at least I think that's what it looks like. To me it looks like a hairy nut-sack with feet.
Either way that shit is gross. I 've always thought those axe ads were condescending (wear our cologne/body-spray and women will get wet when they smell you...you will have sex 24/7...buy some AXE dumbass!) but I will say this because it is now official:
If you buy Axe body-spray then you want to smell like a giant nut-sack riding a horse.
It's the only logical conclusion. Stay away from that shit!

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