Thursday, May 27, 2004

WADDAP BITCHES

A few things of interest today:

Just read this week's Taibbi column. Fucking brilliant. Read now.

Was at an art show last night showin off some of my brilliant work. You know it's brilliant because I said it was and I know brilliant when I see it, and I see it every day in the mirror, so it's goddamn brilliant alright? Of course, most people just kinda breezed by my work because I put these funny little alphabetic symbols into little bubbles that lead to the depicted speaker to convey a message.
Since A)most Americans are functionally illeterate and B)art is not supposed to convey a message these punk fools miss out.
Whatever. Suprisingly though, I did have quite a few people actually stop to read my work and were actually laughing crazily at it. Even heard some people goin' "this is my favorite part of the show"-that's right ya'll-I rule. This is a good thing of course.

Plus, they were all ladies so you know what that does to the hermit-like ego of your humble cartooning-host. I never in my life thought that I would have women reading the comic-strip's that I produced but hey- women get bored too.
I wore a suit for the event and everyone I know that came was like "damn, lookin' sharp son" because I do look damn fine in a suit. Rec'nize.

Anyway, the chronicles of too-shy-for-his-own-good-chiseven continued later that evening when I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air (it was hot in that suit)and some girl stepped to me like "oh, aren't you the dude with the cartoons?" Blah Blah Blah...awkward pause...
Me: So uhhh, what's next for you this evening (code: come back to the crib and play with my balls)?
Her: (gives me the eyes)ummm, nothing I guess, maybe blah blah blah (code:I would love to come home with you to make a bean-bag chair out of your nuts but I have this fat friend I must attend to...you understand right?).
Me: Well, I'm outta here. Guess I better keep doing these art shows so I can start pickin up some hot groupie action. Later bitches.

Yep, shoulda asked for her number but I was too shy. She probably gets freaky too. Damn.

Talked to a guy about doing some installation work at his gallery and hopefully, this mention of it will not jinx the situation. Oh well, sold some art to him and made $20 so whatever. I think Imma start pricing my art around satchel prices. For example:
artshowperson: So, how much is this piece selling for?
me: uhmmm lesee, a QP goes for $475,but I'll have to drive to get it, uhm, $500?
artshowperson: SOLD! I'd pay more for that since these other fucking amateurs are trying to pass their artwork off for much higher prices. SUCKER.
Me: (rolling a j with their check) Whatever.

But seriously, i don't understand the balls of some of these chump-artists I exhibited with...$650 for a fucking painting of flowers? I can tell that took you 20 minutes to make motherfucker. That is not worth $650, maybe $6.50 but hundreds of dollars for your time? you got some ego there friend. Oh well, I think it just proves my hypothesis on the role of art today. Are you ready?
The role of art in today's age is to seperate rich people from their money.
Fuck symbolism, meaning, etc. etc. etc. it's all wrong.
There is no other reason to create.
Unless you are me and everything you do creativly is like taking diction directly from God. Which I do you know. Love my brilliance bitches.
Enjoy these links and waste some time:
Blah3
Atrios
Cursor
Maakies
Derfcity
and the best so far:
this
Enjoy that last one. It's fucking brilliant.
Outro.
*BAMF*



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