Wednesday, June 16, 2004

ALL IN TOGETHER NOW


I'm back ya'll. Sorry for the delay but I've been busy gnawing on the wood on my doorframe to release some of the inner-sexual tension I've been experiencing. Masteurbation just takes too long. I tells ya, what the youth of this day and age need is a good doorframe to gnaw on in their teenage years. Sex isn't even a question when the youth have horrible grinded down teeth, snaggletooths and all. Somebody tell China about this idea.

I walked into the living room recently to find the premier episode of The Red and Meff Show on FOX playing. I'd heard about this, and I have seen "How High" so really there was no need, but I felt like I'd give them a chance.

Those mu'fukahs don't even deserve a break. Until I saw the episode I thought I had seen the worst that a sitcom could offer me, but tonight? Whoa. This show is so unfunny that it is retarded. So therefore, when you watch it, it's like watching that slow kid back in grade-school spastically trying to eat the fruit-cup with his fingers. It's so sad that it is somehow funny. I don't mean to say that Red and Meff could ever be as funny as a retarded kid, because the retarded kid isn't trying to be funny. These two are trying to be funny and they come off retarded. It's like they pitched the idea to the network and then we're like "okay, let's get some white writers in here to make poignant comments about the culture clash that results when two black guys and a mom move into the suburbs with a bunch of white people....nahhhhhhhhhh. We'll write it ourselves!" (The two spark a blunt and smile). ARGGGH! Here's the scoop: Red and Meff and Meff's mom move to a ritzy suburban white neighborhood. Red and Meff have a party and the home-association kicks them out of the neighborhood. So in order to win back favor of whitey they offer white people fruitcake (and every white person is scared of them) and then befriend the neighbor-son and teach him life-lessons and then I turned the TV off. My roomates didn't like that, but they will later understand it's for their own good. Oh yeah, Red and Meff have a TV in every drawer in the kitchen and in the fridge and they got models and bling and a hot-tub and uh, Meff's mom works at a toll-booth. Oh yeah, and Redman is dumb and Meff's mom don't like him. Damn. I feel sorry for any motherfuckah that thinks this shit is good. Brain-dead mu'fuckahs. I predict it will last 3 more episodes. Let's hope so.

In other news: Our Government Still Doesn't Know Shit.

But, there's some new name as the mastermind and it's not Usama Bin Laden. Boy that's weird. I can remember saying that there was a possibility that UBL didn't mastermind the attacks about 2 years ago and everyone was like "oh no,no,no,no...we know he did it." And then getting into a conversation about how you can't trust the government to tell you the truth. Well, ha ha you close-minded fucks. Vindication is mine and as long as you never read these words you'll never know! HA HA! Small victories rule, even if they are entirely of your own making.

F-F-F-F-F-Fuck Ronald Reagan. He fucked up last week by dying and then every-body jacks off about his "legacy" then some mu'fuckah gives federal employees the day off on Friday and I get no mail. Then me and my roommate are talkin' about how we haven't got a new Playboy (or rather, he, hasn't recieved a new issue) yet and I'm like "man, that issue would have come today if it wasn't for Fuckin Reagan...even in death he screws me. Lousy bastard." The next day we got the mail, we had the latest issue of Playboy. So now you understand why up until recently I've been gnawing on doorways. It's okay now though. Oh, and I have drawn an individual Reagen face on each sheet of my toilet paper so...well, I don't have to explain. Pucker up to the puckering poop-shoot Ronny!

I'm gonna return to blogging at work, as evidenced by this post from home on the Mac. No spell check, no link button, no bold button, nothing. And I am not typing in html code all night just to give you something to click on. I love ya'll but damn. That one link took me five-minutes! I'm a man of the new millenium, and I want my links RIGHT NOW. Okay, back tommorrow, fo'sure. Gotta mandatory meeting that's gonna drag my ass to work EARLY so I'm gonna goof off, get paid and blog.
I'm out.

*BAMF!*

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