Friday, June 18, 2004

Words From the Mayor


Aiiight, let's get this entry poppin with a fresh link. Now, before I go any further, let me just state that it has been a sincere desire of mine to somehow fashion my hair into the basic shape of a helicopter. After countless hours of convincing various ladies I know to try and come up with the blueprints to make this dream of mine come true, I still was no further in my quest. Today, my friends, this quest comes to an end (spotted at boingboing.net). Now, as soon as I get home I'm gonna start the process and BAM! I'll be halfway to California before the night falls. I knew I was growing my hair long for a reason.

There's a new issue of the Onion online! Here's a sample News In Brief:


Mugger Can't Believe Crap Victim Has On MP3 Player
BOSTON—Following the successful mugging of a jogger in Franklin Park, petty criminal Derek Mesker announced Monday that he cannot believe the shit he's found on his victim's Philips 20GB MP3 player. "3 Doors Down? Maroon 5!" Mesker said, scrolling through the songs. "The new Counting Crows?! Man, I'm glad I pistol-whipped that motherfuck." Mesker added that the first thing he did was toss the device's "gay-ass" teal neoprene case.

You're prayers have been answered Joe. I know I'll be watching, bible in hand.

Cheney is upset that the truth is finally seeing a bit of light. Listen to this:

"The press, with all due respect, (is) often times lazy, often times simply reports what somebody else in the press said without doing their homework." Uh, yeah, that is true to an extent, but I would think it's more of an editorial decision (or the owners of the press)to decide what the public hears(reads) about. But it sounds like Ol' Cheney is mad that the press isn't actually giving him a pass on his obvious lies (why? It's too hard to ignore now.). Awww, c'mon Dick, take that bald dome back to your secret bunker and have yer wife polish that chrome dome as she soothes you with the Iraq-Al Queda connection sound-bites. What a dick.

Head on over to o-dub's SOUL SIDES to hear the greatest remix of all time: Pete Rock's remix of PE's "Shut 'Em Down". Hands down, the best remix ever. Don't sleep you sissies. If yer at work and you have speakers crank those bitches up so that the people around you can enjoy Chuck D's booming voice. Act quick though, these songs are only up for about 10 days at a time. You could download them though and save them mugs. Oh, if anyone has a chance, look up Ghostface Killahs "the Sun" which was supposed to be on Bulletproof Wallets but didn't make it because of clearance issues. This song has Slick Rick, Raekwon and Ghost rapping about how ill the sun is. Best line:
"The Sun could never be pussy, he always comes out..." Classic.
And with that, I'm out.
Next time, (maybe)stories of my youth. Go outside and get some air kids.
*BAMF!*

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