Tuesday, August 24, 2004

A Young Man's Hopes Crushed To The Earth Will Rise Again...


Yes, yes, I am back you muthafuckahs and you know you missed me. HOLLA! Aiight, California is awesome to visit but there is no way I will ever move there unless I fall in love with a stripper and she decides she wants to go to hell-A to become an actress (read: porn-star) at which point I will. But barring this craziness, I must confess that I am happy with the mighty A-Frame back home in Indianapolis. Boo-yah! Got myself a washer and dryer today and now my laundry room is also a sauna. How luxurious! And I got back to the crib and all the records were off the floor and on the brand-new shelves that my roommates constructed. So last night we decided to celebrate our set-up by buying and consuming a 30-pack of the High-Life and rappin' rappin' rappin'. We had a nice little session rhymin' about how fat girls make the world go 'round. Sample rhyme: "I love fat girls cuz they lack self-esteem/take 'em back to the pad get some head and then cream" and so on and so forth. They aren't good rhymes because well, by that point we were at least 6 beers in apiece, so really, it's kinda amazing that we could even form semi-coherent sentences, but fuck it....that shit was fun. So fun that me and my boy D. ended up stumbling around the house running into furniture and falling down before I passed out. Woke up and felt like holy-hell. Maaaan, I haven't had a hangover like that in a minute. It's a good thing I had the day off cuz I basically slept from like 4AM until 3PM feeling like shite. But it's all good cuz I got the herbals to make my noggin quit pounding out the bass line to some Lil' John song (I'd name it but they're all the same really). It finally quit and I made it to my Spanish Class to represent as usual. Then, I got bold after that and decided to call up this chica that I've formed a crush on. Now check this ya'll, I ain't really the type to be askin' mad hoes out on dates cuz I really don't meet too many women that I'm attracted to. But I got real attracted to this girl mainly because of her personality and all that shit 24-year-old-males aren't supposed to be interested in. So I call her up and confess that I feel like a 13 year old boy and I've got a big ol' crush on her and then I'm like: "y'know, maybe we could go out sometime?"
Let me pause here and reemphasize this: I don't ever do this shit. I have the love life of a monk.


Of course, she has a boyfriend.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Now she let me down gently, and for this I am thankful, but GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT. I get all excited and then...
*POP!*
Reality returns and I realize that it's a monks life for me. Now, I'm not gonna stop trying to get myself a lady friend just because I got shut-down once. That's quite ricockulous. But, I have been thinking for a time that perhaps the lack of me having a lady-friend is a sign from the universe that I should be a monk. Ah, tragic chiseven! Come weep with me 'neath the willow tree trusty reader. Bah! I will say this: If I can't get some female affection in the next um, 2 years (whether I pay for it or not) then I am going to become a monk. I am serious. I'm gonna shave my head and become a very serious Bhuddist. Goddamn you women!!!! Well, I guess it's time to start prowling the bars and looking for cheap-thrills. Eccccch. Enough tragedy! Let's check the news:
Here's the story you were telling me about Joe.
I was that bear last night. Whooo!
Taibbi exposes the way the political process works in this country in the middle of this essay.
Wish I lived in New York so I could vo-waitaminnit, no I don't. Fuck New York. That's another city I wouldn't mind seeing slide off into the water if it wouldn't get rid of my favorite rappers. Ah, the inner conflict is tumultuous. I press on for you dear reader.
Spotted at HipHopSite : The 'Liks are calling it quits after their next album. Damn. I vow to try to fill that void on record. Thanks J-Ro, Tash and E-Swift. Captain Hook! Drink drink we drunk drunk drunk drink drink we drunk drunk drunk! Ha-haaaa!
On September 28th Talib Queli and De La Soul will be droppin' records. Do yourself a favor and ignore Talib Queli and his horrible album. That song "Lonely People" has to be one of the worst songs I have ever heard. Ecccchhhh.
But some new De La? PICK THAT SHIT UP! From what I've heard this album should be a banger.

Aiiight ya'll I'm goin to bed (oh yeah, got internet up in the crib now....boo-yahhhh!) and crying myelf to sleep. Tears of joy of course. Tears of joy ya'll.
See ya next time.
*BAMF!*

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