Wednesday, October 13, 2004

The Humane Society of the United States is Retarted

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...and then we'll eat that dog.

Now I ain't no goddamn hater of animals or anything because I love to eat them. I practice equal-opportunity-eating-of-animals whenever I can. Hell, if I was in Korea, I would try my damndest to eat some dog-meat. I also hear they boil cats. Wonder if that would be similar to egg-drop soup (cat-drop soup? delicious!) But, since I'm here in America with a bunch of assholes who would try and stop me from killing a dog and roasting it over a fire pit I guess I'll have to make due with lambs, pigs, birds, fish and cows...the animals people don't give a shit about eating. But wait-where is all this concern about animals coming from?
Go here.
Now, I don't give a shit about Jay-Z, but I do take issue with the Humane Society waiting months upon months to comment on the video. I guarantee they see videos and commercials and advertisements or whatever that really offend their loving-animals sensibilities and they just make a note of it and put it in a stack that they can consult later. Usually, they consult this stack when they feel they are being ignored. Then they make a blanket statement and condemn somebody or someone for abusing animals. For example, if Mr. Goodwin of the Humane Society took offense when he saw a depiction of pit-bulls fighting in Jay-Z's video why didn't he say something when it first came out? Why wait months to comment on something the networks (probably) don't show that often anyways? The answer is because the Humane Society is retarded. So the video has a clip of some pit-bulls goin' at it in a dog-fight. It also has a scene where Jay-Z gets shot. Buuuuut, the Humane Society could give a shit if another black male is murdered because dog-fighting is a serious threat to the safety of our inner-city residents. Dog fighting huh? So, Humane Society, what do you propose we do to combat this threat?
Goodwin[the Humane Society investigator] called for other Hip-Hop artists to come forward and renounce dog fighting.
“Young people often mirror the actions of the celebrities they idolize,” Goodwin noted. “Artists who insist on spreading these images through their work must accept their roles in perpetuating community violence.”
Oh yeah. I'm sure once Fabolous comes out against animal-cruelty the streets will be much safer for our "inner-city residents." So that's it. The Humane Society has identified this issue as a problem and now feels that it's time for Hip-Hop to address the issue. I nominate Cam'Ron to dress up in some purple-skirt (why fight it Cam?) and re-record some song from Cyndi Lauper that condones animal cruelty. Then, we'll all have popsicles and sing songs. Yay.
So there you have it: The Humane Society is retarded because they know they are impotent and yet still try and act like they are relevent. As long as people still eat other animals I really have to wonder why the Humane Society even tries.
I think I'll boil a lobster tonight to hear it scream. Animals deserve to die.
Then, I'm starting up a dog-fighting circuit at the crib. I could bank off of the suffering of animals that we don't usually eat. Then, I'll cook the losers, cuz their meat will be tenderized from the fighting. Mmmmm!

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