Monday, December 06, 2004

Let's Hear it For Ol' Chomper

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Another Happy Ukrainian

I just liked that picture above. This post has nothing to do with it.
I woke up this morning and got on the internet to read the news and promptly choked on my coffee when I read this article on Stevie Wonder "lashing out" at Eminem. I guess Stevie is angry that Eminem was making fun of Michael Jackson in the "Just Lose It" video. Isn't that hilarious? I mean, someone had to describe the video to Stevie right? It's not like he's actually seen the video cuz he's still blind, unless he got that microchip implanted in his brain I heard about years ago. From what I remember in the video, the only thing which could be really offensive or mean to Jackson is the part where Em/Jacko's nose falls off. And that's not really offensive, as it is obvious Jackson's nose is not the same one he was born with. So really, the only thing that someone could have described to Stevie would be where Em/Jacko is jumping on a bed with a bunch of kids and dancing or whatever ( I did only see this video once mind you). There shouldn't really be anything offensive about that either cuz didn't M.J. admit that he slept with little boys and had wierd slumber parties with them. It's never been proven that M.J. is a pederast but all his behavior certainly implies that he is one, or at the very least, a creepy individual. There's nothing wrong with making fun of creepy entertainers. In fact, it's quite necessary.
Stevie Wonder doesn't think so:
“Kicking someone when he’s down is not a good thing,” Wonder said. “I have much respect for his work, though I don’t think he’s as good as (late rapper) 2Pac. But I was disappointed that he would let himself go to such a level” …”He has succeeded on the backs of people predominantly in that lower pay bracket, people of color. So for him to come out like that is bull.” Now, I don't want to make it seem like I'm defending Eminem from any criticism here. I just think it's funny that Stevie Wonder is getting upset over a video that he has never seen. Plus, I think Stevie is wrong here too. Making fun of M.J. has nothing to do with black people in a lower pay bracket. M.J. hasn't been in a lower pay bracket for at least 30 years and he certainly doesn't represent or embody "the average person of color" in this country. The mu'fucker lives on a ranch that's named after a location in "Peter Pan." In the eighties he hung out with a monkey named Bubbles and a snake named Muscles. He prefers the company of little boys over grown women. M.J. doesn't represent "people of color" but he does represent "rich self-loathing crazy rich people." Stevie, stick to playing the keys. Music video criticism is not your bag. Blau.

Down The Memory Hole...
Remember Pat Tillman? That hero that was killed in Afghanistan protecting our freedoms?
He was killed by friendly fire. Back in April. Now, 8 months later we find out the truth.
Now we need not wring our hands over his valiant sacrifice, or how he gave up an NFL career to serve his country. Now we know for certain that he gave up a comfortable life in America to be gunned down in the mountains of Afghanistan by fellow Americans. All I can think about is the cartoon by Ted Rall (found here, along with hilarious comments on Tillmans heroism) that people found offensive eight months ago and how it now rings true. All that hand wringing for nothing. Ah well, one less hero for Jesusland.
Finally, an appeal to Grand Marquis: UPDATE. C'mon, feed the beast. Bust out the vocab.
I'm tired. See ya'll next time.

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