Saturday, July 31, 2004

BIGGER AND DEFFER
"so forget Oreo's eat Cool J Cookies I'm BAD."

Well, if anyone cares, the moving is almost completed and now I have two roommates for a uncertain number of months. Both gentlemen have nowhere to go for the time being (ie. no housing )so, as I am a motherfuckin gentleman, I am living out of my living room so these fools can have their own space. This is only made bearable by the fact that they are my fellow partners in this music thing we're trying to do. More beats and rhymes for the Eastside of Indianapolis. And since all the white folks are trying to move out of the area (by my estimation) I think that will be fine. Plus, me and my boy D. have combined our record collection into one powerful entity. It is a glorious thing to behold.

I shaved my large beard off and am now rockin a moustache-kinda -thing so now people have quit calling me Jesus and they are now calling me Frank Zappa. Works for me. Now I just gotta find someone to take my picture on the toilet. Damn. Actually, I do kinda look like him. Hmm. I should listen to "Hot Rats" when I get home.

Yo, in the time I've spent away from this little diary of mine, I have been quite busy, not only with moving, but also with painting sneakers. Well, two to be exact. A friend of a friend hooked me up with a pair of Air Force One's to paint for this traveling exhibit called Sneaker Pimps. Check the site out for an explanation. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Okay, maybe they'll put up some pictures of the event, but it was a good time. DJ TopSpeed was playin' some good breakbeats last night, and it sounded like the original records, so props to that man. Saw some b-boys breakin' as I was painting my sneaks. Made me wanna dance, but then I was like, wait, I'm white. We don't dance, we just exploit those who do. So I charged some people a few dollars to watch them and then spent it on beer. That's a lie because the beer was free. That money went towards the chronic fund. Some highlights of the evening:
*Met Rhymefest last night and talked to him about doing a pair of shoes for him. Hope he calls. I could use the money.
*Every person I met couldn't believe I was the dude that painted my shoe. That's what I get for lookin more like Frank Zappa than some b-boy. But, I did get alot of compliments and I spied more than a few people taking pictures of my work.
*Drank free Budwiser all evening. Crap beer but good for starting the artistic impulse. Got kinda intoxicated. Drove. Probably would've went to jail if I would've had to take a breathalyzer. But I was cool because I have learned the value of mastering my high from hip-hop. Thank you hip-hop!
Go see the show if it comes your way. Seeing the Nintendo Shoe in person is like a religious experience. And they'll give you a free t-shirt. Go. Now.

In Other News...
While Russell Simmons is promoting his new show "Russel Simmons Presents Hip Hop Justice" his wife is busy making sure that he'll have new material to work with. What a woman.

Head on over to funkdigital.com and peep the Michael Moore vs. Bill O'Reilly "debate" if you want. I could save you the time though. Nothing happens, no resolutions, no screaming, no shouting. Pretty boring, but I'll give Michael Moore props because it seems like the thing to do. Stay at METALFACE's site though...he's always got interesting stuff to read.

Now I don't know how I feel about this case, cause I can kinda sympathise with the "criminal". So this guy taped a dogs mouth shut on a hot day and the dog died as a result. Why? It was his brother's dog and he was barking incessantly. Now, I'm going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and ASSUME that he didn't know how dogs cool themselves via the mouth. If he did know this, then fuck him, but if he didn't I don't think he should be charged with animal cruelty. The reason I say this is because I used to live between two neighbors who had barking dogs chained up in their backyard. I can sympathize with wanting to kill a dog because it barks so much and disturbs you. I say this because in my case, and I'm assuming this guy's case as well, the neighbors just had the dogs around and they never paid any attention to them except to feed them. Therefore, the dogs barked constantly for attention. Look, if you are going to have a dog, then don't chain that mu'fuckah up so he barks all the time. Get out and take that dog for a walk and let it get some exercise. If you can't do that then you don't deserve a pet. Too many mu'fuckahs treat dogs like televison: as a source of entertainment that can be enjoyed in small incriments. If you can't give a dog plenty of room to roam and give it affection and attention then you don't deserve one. Plus, the thing that gets me is that most of the mu'fuckahs that do this shit to dogs usually have kids. That's sad. But, that's the problem with procreation: Anyone can do it and they usually do.
Aiight ya'll thus concludes todays sermon. Now you can get back to searching the Internet for really important stuff, like pictures of Lindsey Lohan's nipple-slips. Is it wrong that I know what nipple-slips means? I spend too much time on the internet...at work.
Fuck spell-check...I keeps it gangsta.
*BAMF!*

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Something Happened...


It looks like Blogger changed the format while I was busy moving.  This is akin to someone coming into your crib when you are gone and just changing a few things about your setup.  Nothing major, but at the same time you notice a slight difference, neither good nor bad, just different.  By the looks of it, perhaps I will be able to post pictures now.  Don't hold your breath though, as I am verrry lazy today and do not think I will be exploring the intricacies of this feature. 

So what's new?  Well, in the last week I drank a 40 oz. of Colt 45 with my father while my younger brother drove us home via I-465.  There's nothing more satisfying than swilling a 40 oz. with your father as you ask questions you normally wouldn't ask, unless you were drunk, as I was.  Then, we split a 12 pack of the HIGH-LIFE and drank them in my driveway as my dad bummed a cigarette from my roommate.  Ah, good times those.  Sadly, I woke up the next day on the couch with my shoes on with no recollection of the last hours of the evening.  Later on I was able to deduce that I was staggering about speaking gibberish (as I am known to do when highly-intoxicated) no doubt, induced by the half-smoked bowl I found near my turntable.  Oh my. So remember, if you are ever chillin' with your aunt and uncle and they break out the red-wine, do not help drink 3 bottles of it with your dad, and then do NOT split a 40 oz. with him, and then a 12 pack, and then, whatever you do, don't smoke that bowl.  You are faded already.  Not to worry dear reader, I have saved you the effort of finding this out yourself.  You are welcome.

Fucking Emo Kids.
Check out this quote from one of the authors:
Emo boys are known to favor soft, floppy vintage T-shirts, flip-flops and low-riding women’s jeans that display a hint of pubic fuzz. "It’s like longer hair and introverted and sensitive," said Ms. Graubard. "Being skinny without muscles is a big part of it." 
What the fuuuuuck?  Now, I have been incorrectly identified as a hippy many times in the past, due to the long hair and (now deceased) beard, but that's the only reason.  I never ever ever wear tie-dyed clothing or smell like patchouli oil, or wear sandals, but I am generally aware that I look like someone you could approach and say "How much for a Thai stick?"  That's okay.  But I draw the line at being confused with one of these goddamn emo-kids.  Now I don't wear those fucking jeans or sandles but I would say that the quote in that paragraph is aimed at someone who looks like myself.  Fuck that noise Ms. Graubard.  I see these emo-boy/man types all the time and not ONE of them has long hair.  Never.  You can spot an emo kid by the short haircut and the excessive amount of hair-gel that is soaked into the mop, which may or may not be highlighted by pink or some other color ( it depends if it will wash out before work on Monday).  They do wear those jackets that are too small for them and they're usually decked out in black.  Also, they travel in packs.  Now they may be skinny with no muscles like yours truly, but they lack the tenacity that I posses.  For example, if confronted, the Emo-boy/man will attempt to talk his way out of a situation, or even (shudder) apologize.  I have witnessed this numerous times  in bars.  Very anti-climatic.  However, if I am to be confronted then I place two extended fingers into my confronter's eye sockets and pull down very quickly as my hand brushes past the leg I have then extended into my confronter's crotch.  No stinking hippie or Emo-kid would ever do that (the bouncers at bars, however, will).  If someone calls me Emo next time I'm out then I'm going to grab their heart from their chest like that dude in "Temple of Doom".  Really.  I swear.

And one last note:
Fuck all this nonsense where people use words to empower themselves.
"I'm not handicapped,I'm disabled (or my favorite, "I'm special")."
"He's not retarded, he's just slow."
Wrong mu'fuckahs.  If that withered claw you call a hand could open the door like everyone else you wouldn't need to glare at me as I press the blue-button that automatically opens the doors when I see you coming.  Don't stare at me like I'm sympathetic to your plight.  Don't be mad at me, be mad at God.  

And with that, I will probably be in a horrible accident soon which will leave me deformed and lame, if karma holds true.  If this happens I will post the pictures and I will use a Stephen Hawkings device to mock myself with the blog and I will include mp3's of my new metallic voice, which would, no doubt, sound exactly like my Old Speak N Spell as the batteries slowly die.
Until then...
*BAMF!* 


Friday, July 16, 2004

Oh man, I can't wait until tonight...


Found via the Guardian. Funny how you never read this sort of thing in the NYTimes. High Times might be interested though. Either way...I knew it. Now if I could just find some of that Morocco kif. Mmmmmm. Check out what this old lady had to say:
But their results backed up claims by the Observer columnist Sue Arnold, who suffers from retinitis pigmentosa and is officially registered blind. She noticed several years ago that drawing on strong Jamaican skunk suddenly and temporarily enabled her to see things clearly.

But Ms Arnold has since warned of side-effects that could impede night-time navigation.

"Only trouble was," she said, "I couldn't stand up."
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
Old People Can't Handle Their Bud.
I can still remember the first time I smoked a blunt with my Grandma...
Those were the days...
*BAMF!*

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Maaaaaaaaaan.....

So I wrote up this big long post yesterday with a bunch of links and uh, diagrams and uh, proof that Iraq has WMD's, and there was some other stuff too. BUT...it got lost. Blogger was put in some infinite loop of publishing and then, *poof* the post is gone. So, fuck it. I'll try and remember what I linked to. And you will like it and praise me. EDIT: Forget it.  It's there now.  That makes no damn sense. Enjoy though. 
Head over to Bol's and peep the genius at work. Right now he's got a post about which Bush twin he'd bang. Now, I think they're both overrated (not much of a blonde fan-and yes, one isn't blonde but shit, that don't fool me)and really not attractive, but I will give you this: At least they are not Kerry's daughters. Ye gods. I was at the old crib last night, chillin' with my old roommate and those two horse-face havin' Kerrys popped up on the screen. We both shrieked like little girls. Oh lord. The older Kerry is just downright frightening.*shudder*What is it with these Democrats havin' ugly kids? Remember Chelsea Clinton? I've been trying.

Good news Joe! I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Really, if anyone would be suspected as a homosexual it would probably be me, at least, due to the lack of ladies in my life. Which reminds me of the time my mom was like "it's okay if you're gay" and I was like "whaaaaaaaat?" I'm not really sure why she thought that but I proved her wrong when I went outside and felt up the 16 year old neighbor. When I got out of jail she apologized. Betta rec'nize. But hey, I say that if gay people want to marry then they should. In fact, I think they should raise a bunch of kids too, because those kids would be really snappy dressers and they'd be funny as a motherfucker. So, fuck it, mo' homos.

Spotted at Blah3 via Josh Marshall, comes the news that the same lawyer representing Ken Lay is also representing Bush in the Plame case. Link at the Josh Marshall site. But, of course, this is a strange coincidince. Y'know, I always wondered what people were thinking when Nixon was President, but I don't ever have to wonder with this crooked bunch in power. George is my generations Nixon. I can't wait until (20 years from now)all the documents get dumped which prove Bush et. al as crooked. It will happen.

And I can't say I'm really hyped about Kerry (which Skull&Bones candidate will you choose?)but I do like this. Polite and to the point. Bravo.

I noticed over at hiphopsite.com that those involved with Ego Trip (the best damn magaizine ever)are celebrating their 10th anniversary. Head over to www.eyejammie.com if you live in NYC to peep some shite. Or if your like me, and not in NYC you can just hope they'll reprint the entire run someday. I once read an interview where Count Chocula was interviewing Fat Joe and it was the shit! Funniest interview ever. God I hope I can read that again before I die...Oh, and they(hiphopsite)also said Slick Rick is working on a new album that is aimed at a "mature" audience. Remember "Adults Only" from his last album ("ain't no need to be subtle, when I want the butthole")? This shit is gonna be great.

On that note, I'm out. Still moving boxes around the crib and consuming as much "High Life" as I can each evening. Now I need to find some herbal essence. Then, it's all good. Ya'll behave yourselves now.
*BAMF!*


Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Memories Don't Leave Like People Do...

Sorry about that. I was just thinking of that "Travelin' Man" song with Dj Honda and Mos Def, and I was thinking about how that could be a theme for me lately. But that's on some personal shit, and I have found that no one cares about my personal issues. And hey, I can't blame them. Everybody's got problems (but a bitch ain't one...okay, couldn't resist...sorry). Hit me! *DAHHHHHNNNN* (that's what that 99 Problems song sounds like to me when put into words. word.). And hey, speaking of problems, looks like a bunch of people that fly, with the exception of my moms who rules, are a bunch of scared little bitches. I swear...if someone next to me was writing the sentence "I know this is kind of a bomb" and I was snooping on them like a little bitch, I would ask them what that's all about. Not tell some flight-attendant. Shit, if I'm next to a terrorist, then that's cool, cuz I'll be the first to die and it probably won't be painful. Probably just a bright flash and then, I dunno, whatever happens when we die. No big deal. But, I would certainly handle it like a man, like, "oh, is the NYTimes now an incendiary device of some sort or what? I'd suggest that it's more of a rag, or a piece of trash, but your depiction is somewhat accurate these days...let's discuss it." I certainly wouldn't get somebody hassled by punk-ass cops with smart remarks.

And as an aside, let me maneuver my way into an editorial comment about cops: Just because you were lucky enough to pass your civil-servant test and make it through an academy with a bunch of other moustaches doesn't mean that you have a license to insult people when they answer your questions. Like check this, last time I was pulled over for exceeding the speed limit in a school-zone (that's right, fuck those kids, they can run outta my way, they're young):
Officer Moustache: "So why were you speeding through a posted school-zone?"
Chiseven: "I wasn't thinking right, I thought the speed limit was 40mph and-"
OM: "40mph?!? What kind of a school-zone is 40 mph?!?"
Chi7: "None, I got nervous with you directly behind me and didn't notice the school-zone sign. I was just focused on keeping the car under 40 so you wouldn't pull me over and-"
OM: "Well that didn't work did it?"
And that's about it. He let me go with a warning cuz I've never had a ticket (yep.true.)but he did make a snide comment every chance he could. Why? The same reason every other fucko decides to be a cop: It's a power trip. Now I know there are good cops out there ('cause I know a few actually)but I'm gonna say that the majority of cops that I have encountered are douche-bags with an inferiority complex that they attempt to remedy with macho-postures and insulting and condescending attitudes towards the citizens. If you don't agree, fuck off...I didn't ask you.

Ever wondered what it would be like to be a hostess at some restaurant in NYC where a bunch of celebrities go? Me neither, but here's an article that is pretty interesting anyway, mainly for the visual image of Star Jones getting flipped over by her fiance in a mock-sex public act. Oh the horror. Oh yeah, fuck New York. I said it.

Good news for you Joe!Ha haaaaa! Just playin'. I just gotta rip on someone and since yer the only reader...well, sorry. Otherwise, why the hell would we need an amendment banning gay marriage? Marriage ain't sacred. It's a concept. That's all. There's nothing to it, besides an agreement between two people. What are people scared of, gay parents raising children? What's the big deal? Those kids will be fashionable and hilarious, which is more than I can say about most of the kids I know who were raised by hetero-parents. And, just to piss O-Dub off, no homo!

Didn't get that last reference? See his post from Thursday, June 03, 2004
(found here). I sometimes check out O-Dub just 'cause he includes some good links from his website, but as far as his opinions on life and music go, I usually disagree with him, well, most of the time. He did say that the Beastie Boys latest album was not 5-star worthy as Rolling Stone suggested ( and I'd agree there)but often, I think his criticism is mainly, a waste of effort. Is it because he's Asian and I'm a white, ignorant Hoosier (whatever that means)? Hell no, I think that music criticism is akin to being a cheerleader in high-school. It's pointless. Someone once said that "A critic is like someone who steps on the battlefield to shoot the wounded" to which, I would agree. Criticism to me, is like commenting on someone burping. Sure, you can do it, but who cares? Who cares what you think about the burp or the latest MF DOOM album? It's all an opinion. Ehhh, who am I fooling? I'm just mad because no-one pays me to write my opinion on music or anything else.
BUT...
I can't resist this little White People Liking Hip Hop Debate over at O-dub's and the Quarterwit. My two cents:
Who cares what Mos Def says about white people and hip hop? Did anybody see the character he played in "The Italian Job"? Didn't really seem to mesh with the Mos Def I knew on the Black Star CD. In fact, it seemed kinda strange for this "revolutionary" cat to be playing second-fiddle to white-naw fuck that, playing second fiddle to MARKEY FUCKING MARK. But see, I figured it out. Mos may be principled as far as his concerns for black-culture, but money does talk. I mean, if Mos was gettin' all righteous as I once thought he was, he wouldn't take that role. But, Mos ain't no fool. He lives in a capitalist society just like I do. If you don't have money you starve. So, convictions or not, if Mos gets a chance to make a big pile of money to portray a typical Hollywood interpretation of a black man then he's gonna do it. No big deal. Also, when he talks about those white-kids who bought their first Wu-tang record to pretend that they are Wu-tang, I don't take offense. Sure, there are some dumbass-white-kids that listen to hip-hop and don't come correct, but he ain't talking about me...and hell, even if he was, it's no big deal. I'm a white 24 year-old male who listens to hip-hop. Looking at me, you'd think I was more into Metallica, but hey, that doesn't matter either. If it gets right down to it, I think the main reason I'm into hip-hop is found in one of these three reasons:
A)I like all kinds of music. Hip hop (through the use of sampling) is the culmination of all musical efforts since the beginning. This artform has unlimited potential, and can reference any culture and any time period.
B)I'm an English major. I like words and what people do with them.
C)I'm a skinny white kid who probably get's a charge from the distinct macho-male psychology inherent in hip hop. It's mainly men making this music, and generally, the music is braggadocious and asserting aggressive impulses. I could explain further, but O-Dub's writing a thesis, not me. So basically, even though this long post obviously proves me wrong, I don't give a fuck about what anyone says about white-people listening to hip-hop. They may be right, but I ain't gonna feel guilty for liking some art. I will feel guilty for wanting to be Ghostface Killah though. That dude has a huge-gold eagle-piece! I don't even like gold, but I'd love to just show up at work with a huge golden eagle and then smack some fools over the head with it. No one has ever clowned me for it cuz I'm no chump. Only chumps get clowned. With that said, let's bring the ruckus. Comments can be sent to chiseven@gmail.com or ya'll can talk shit on your own blogs.
I'm out, no homo (ha).
*BAMF!*

Saturday, July 10, 2004

A Few Quick Notes...

I'm back for a minute right now, taking a break from moving and working to post up some more bullshit. My new crib is gettin' squared away nicely...I spent a few hours last night trying to organize my record collection (which by this point, is outta control)and I rewarded myself with a 40 0z. of Mickeys. Why? That's 40 ounces of booze for three bucks, which means that my 130 lb. body get's faaaaaaded. Tried making a beat after I finished off my stash and guzzled the 40 but beat-makin' requires a coordination of sorts that I don't have when I'm drunk. Had to pass out early so I caould be at work early today. On a side note, I think my job is going to turn me into one of those mu'fuckahs that has a nightcap before the nightly repose. My job never has me coming in on a consistent basis, so my sleeping patterns get fucked up, and I'm an insomniac anyway, so the alchohol helps quiet the voices when I need to get to bed. I feel sorry for my liver though.

Of course, I feel more sorry for John Edwards though. As Bol points out, that bitch is ugly and fat. He has sex with her. Ugggggh. Of course, John Kerry's wife is no better, but at least she's rich and not fat. Of course, Laura Bush ain't much better, but at least she's a librarian. Why does that matter? Man, librarians are freaky dude. You ever wonder why "The Joy of Sex" and "Getting More Pleasure From Your Anus" are never checked-in at your local library? It's cuz those librarians are takin' it home and putting in work. I swear.

TOMMY CHONG CAN NOW SMOKE WEED AGAIN.
It really is a shame that he had to spend some time in the slammer, but why the fuck would you want to go on Leno to talk about it? What, is Leno just gonna make stupid cliched jokes about it or something? I could see it now:

Jay Leno: "Hey everybody, big news...Tommy Chong was released from jail on Thursday(scattered cheering)...yeah, as a result, his local 7-11 had to shut down because they couldn't keep all his munchies in stock. Ha-Ha-Ha, get it? See, smoking pot amkes you hungry and-oh god, what am I doing? I'm such a shill. Bill Hicks was right about me. I'll end it right now." (Jay reaches behind his desk and retrives an Uzi, which he places in his mouth...see Bill Hick's "Rant in E Minor" for what happens next). Chiseven: (stands up an applaudes): "Bravo Jay. You finally did the right thing."

Oh yeah, as I was driving back to the crib after buying a 40 I saw a hooker on the street close to th crib. She was staring at the ride hard son. She couldn't have been more than 20...and the sad thing is, I actually thought about picking her up. Isn't that crazy? Damn I need to get laid. But not pay for it directly. I'll pay for the sex with dinners and movies and shit...you know, the LEGAL way. Hookers near the crib? Oh the parties I could throw...

So Tom Ridge says that terrorists may disrupt our elections? Is a terrorist really just a crooked-politician that would allow something like that to happen and then use it as a political-tool to remain in power? I tend to think that this was the case as far as September 11th was concerned. But, if you were at the docks last night then you heard my rant. Anyway, as far as speculating the motives of our corrupt administration is concerned, you should check this article out, and then check this one out. Personally, I think that even if George Bush captured Satan himself it wouldn't make a difference because that fucker is on his way out.

Our representatives are still spineless wankers. As if you didn't know anyway.
Oh, and what was George's response to a reporter's question concerning the indictment of Ken Lay? This.
Oh, and about his service records that would prove he didn't skip out of his National Guard duty?
Those have been destroyed. Convenient huh?

And finally, my favorite reporter, Helen Thomas, tells my local newspaper what's really going on. Maybe now these knucklehead fucks will quit writing ridiculous OP-Ed pieces about how Bush has made mistakes but is still a good president. Ah, fuck it...I'll just burn that motherfucker down. I gotta get back to work. See you next time when i get a break from moving.

*BAMF!*

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Just a Quick Entry Before I Go...

I'll be spending the next few days packing all of my worldly possesions into cardboard boxes and travelling down Interstate 70 towards the new crib, so I wanted to leave ya'll with a few links and thoughts before all my time gets accounted for. Speaking of this house, I think I may have ruined a marriage and lost my best-friend by moving to said house. Not bad for a weeks-work huh? I jest, as my moving into this house has only made the three individuals that I refer to realize that they've been messing up and they need to start paying for the mistakes they have made. I realize this probably won't make much sense to those reading this post who don't know me and my personal life, but if you somehow made it here without knowing me, then I would suggest you persuse my archives and get to know me a little better. Either way, I'm moving, much to the dismay of those three individuals. Now, I'll be in a real house and not just some goddamn apartment or townhouse or whatever. I gotta buy a refridgerator tommorrow too. So besides packing, if I have some free time I will be attempting to learn how to throw playing cards like Ricky Jay, master illusionist. Spend some time at that website or check out the June issue of the Smithsonian to peep a short article on him. Amazing stuff, really.

I spend way too much time over at Byron Crawford's page cuz that dude is a funny motherfuckah. One of the best parts about his website is the comments that people leave, after googling something like "J-Kwon Kanye West Fan Club baby momma" and then finding his website and his scathing wit on the previously mentioned rappers. Peep this comment:
" HOLLA J-KWON THIS BE YA GIRL SHANAH A.K.A BABYSHA HITTIN YOU UP SHOWIN YOU SOME LOVE FROM THAT 201 AREA CODE I THINK YOU ARE SO CUTE TO BE ONLY 17 WELL I'M 18, 5'3, BROWNSKIN, BROWNEYES, BLACKHAIR, THICK IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES I HAVE BIG TITS AND A BIG ASS SO IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR HOLLA AT ME MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS SHABOO4U@AOL.COM HOLLA 1 "...and oh god, there's more...link. What cracks me up is that people actually defend these wack rappers like Bol even gives a fuck. The best one was that chick above posting up a personal message to J-Kwon, like that dude is gonna google his own name and be like: "Oho! I like fat asses and big titties, and even though I am not 17, I think I will take this young ladies offer and proceed to pour the contents of my pimp-goblet into her weave and then get my freak on." Yeah, if that mu'fuckah was that articulate anyway. Watch out girl, don't you know that the "teen president" beats his babys-momma anyway? Why would you be any different? Thank god, I have no comments section. If you don't agree with me then you can eat a dick. Word to Slick Rick on that one.

Yo, check out Lil' Jon before he was screamin "OKAYYYYYYYY!" Whoa huh? But y'know what? I kinda like Lil Jon cuz he seems to be a really smart individual who knows that you gotta act a fool to get noticed these days (are you paying attention Common?). I mean, the dude is a college graduate and all that (and seems to be quite articulate)and yet, by his appearances you'd think he was an idiot. Therefore, he is brilliant. Oh, and then there's this:
"That ain't no fuckin' poetry, that's a run-on sentence"
-Lil Jon, yelling, after reading a poem from Jewel's book "A Night Without Armor" (spotted at this place). HA HAAAAAAAA! Take that Jewel, ya big-tittie, snaggletooth, havin' Alaskan you. Boo-ya.
Aiiight, that's it. I'm out.
Fuck a spellcheck. I keeps it gangsta. RRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*BAMF!*

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Bust a nut inside your eye to show you where I come from...

Do the two readers of this blog know about Get Your War On? I mean, there are others to look at once you get to the site, but since these are pretty recent I figured that would be a good place to start. Dude writes the stuff iwish I could. It's like a big ball of funny rage. Check it out.

I always knew there was something creepy about judges...(link via thesmokinggun.com).

And I thought I was having a shitty week until I saw this which made me feel really great for not being a conservative fuck who publically tells everyone how to live their life, while practicing the exact opposite in their private life. It makes me so happy that I want to drink some King Cobra. And hell no, that ain't me. I'm way more handsome. Ask your mother.

JESUS CHRIST! I'M STUCK AT WORK AND IT FUCKING SUCKS!
yo, everyone left for the weekend and I get paid by the hour so I gotta hang out at the computer for like 3 hours until my time is up...ah, fuck it, I'm leavin' 10 minutes early. Come and catch me HR. I'll knock a mu'fuckah out. Jeeeeah.
See ya'll next time, with much more content and not this inane rambling shit.
*BAMF!*

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