Tuesday, August 24, 2004

A Young Man's Hopes Crushed To The Earth Will Rise Again...

Yes, yes, I am back you muthafuckahs and you know you missed me. HOLLA! Aiight, California is awesome to visit but there is no way I will ever move there unless I fall in love with a stripper and she decides she wants to go to hell-A to become an actress (read: porn-star) at which point I will. But barring this craziness, I must confess that I am happy with the mighty A-Frame back home in Indianapolis. Boo-yah! Got myself a washer and dryer today and now my laundry room is also a sauna. How luxurious! And I got back to the crib and all the records were off the floor and on the brand-new shelves that my roommates constructed. So last night we decided to celebrate our set-up by buying and consuming a 30-pack of the High-Life and rappin' rappin' rappin'. We had a nice little session rhymin' about how fat girls make the world go 'round. Sample rhyme: "I love fat girls cuz they lack self-esteem/take 'em back to the pad get some head and then cream" and so on and so forth. They aren't good rhymes because well, by that point we were at least 6 beers in apiece, so really, it's kinda amazing that we could even form semi-coherent sentences, but fuck it....that shit was fun. So fun that me and my boy D. ended up stumbling around the house running into furniture and falling down before I passed out. Woke up and felt like holy-hell. Maaaan, I haven't had a hangover like that in a minute. It's a good thing I had the day off cuz I basically slept from like 4AM until 3PM feeling like shite. But it's all good cuz I got the herbals to make my noggin quit pounding out the bass line to some Lil' John song (I'd name it but they're all the same really). It finally quit and I made it to my Spanish Class to represent as usual. Then, I got bold after that and decided to call up this chica that I've formed a crush on. Now check this ya'll, I ain't really the type to be askin' mad hoes out on dates cuz I really don't meet too many women that I'm attracted to. But I got real attracted to this girl mainly because of her personality and all that shit 24-year-old-males aren't supposed to be interested in. So I call her up and confess that I feel like a 13 year old boy and I've got a big ol' crush on her and then I'm like: "y'know, maybe we could go out sometime?"
Let me pause here and reemphasize this: I don't ever do this shit. I have the love life of a monk.

Of course, she has a boyfriend.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Now she let me down gently, and for this I am thankful, but GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT. I get all excited and then...
Reality returns and I realize that it's a monks life for me. Now, I'm not gonna stop trying to get myself a lady friend just because I got shut-down once. That's quite ricockulous. But, I have been thinking for a time that perhaps the lack of me having a lady-friend is a sign from the universe that I should be a monk. Ah, tragic chiseven! Come weep with me 'neath the willow tree trusty reader. Bah! I will say this: If I can't get some female affection in the next um, 2 years (whether I pay for it or not) then I am going to become a monk. I am serious. I'm gonna shave my head and become a very serious Bhuddist. Goddamn you women!!!! Well, I guess it's time to start prowling the bars and looking for cheap-thrills. Eccccch. Enough tragedy! Let's check the news:
Here's the story you were telling me about Joe.
I was that bear last night. Whooo!
Taibbi exposes the way the political process works in this country in the middle of this essay.
Wish I lived in New York so I could vo-waitaminnit, no I don't. Fuck New York. That's another city I wouldn't mind seeing slide off into the water if it wouldn't get rid of my favorite rappers. Ah, the inner conflict is tumultuous. I press on for you dear reader.
Spotted at HipHopSite : The 'Liks are calling it quits after their next album. Damn. I vow to try to fill that void on record. Thanks J-Ro, Tash and E-Swift. Captain Hook! Drink drink we drunk drunk drunk drink drink we drunk drunk drunk! Ha-haaaa!
On September 28th Talib Queli and De La Soul will be droppin' records. Do yourself a favor and ignore Talib Queli and his horrible album. That song "Lonely People" has to be one of the worst songs I have ever heard. Ecccchhhh.
But some new De La? PICK THAT SHIT UP! From what I've heard this album should be a banger.

Aiiight ya'll I'm goin to bed (oh yeah, got internet up in the crib now....boo-yahhhh!) and crying myelf to sleep. Tears of joy of course. Tears of joy ya'll.
See ya next time.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

If anyone cares...
The reason my links aren't working is because of bloggers new format.
For some reason it adds an extra http:// when I link.
I fixed the last posts links. The rest are for you to figure out.
Besides, I don't think anyone actually reads this anyway.

I'm Goin' Back To Cali...

Hmm, I just realized that I had two posts in a row using old Ladies Love Cool James titles.
Good for me.
But as the title says, I'm going back to California to visit one of my boys who "made it." That is, he escaped from Indiana. Either way, I do plan this as a vactation from the monotony at work and at home, and a chance to get wasted, Hunter S. Thomspon style. Besides consuming copious amounts of alchohol and home-grown, I also plan on arm-wrestling the Governator and, God willing, breakdancing upon the grave of Ronald Reagan. Wish me luck in my endeavors. Either way, I'll try to make an update or two,. but Goddammmit, this is vacation. I do blogging at work. Now who's ready for some news?

Note: All stories from the Guardian (one of the few newspapers worth reading these days).
This ain't no joke suckas. Flee from the coast if you know what's good for you. Otherwise, goodbye you lizard-scum.
Now, back to United States Politricks:
Let's hope this happens. I got an Email from a friend today urging me to join moveon.org and get "that bastard out of office." And, while I understand and agree with the sentiment, I am not pinning all my hopes upon Kerry and Edwards. Sure, it will be "better" in some aspects ( Ashcroft gone, insane Republican influence waning, etc.) but c'mon, John Kerry is going to save this country? Please. I suggest we go to Eugene V. Debs grave and ressurect that Socialist. Then I'll be excited about a new President. Until then, I remain skeptical.
And why should I not? Matt Taibbi explains. (BTW, read anything you can by Taibbi. He's one of the only journalists I enjoy reading and often, enjoy agreeing with. Check out this exclusive interview with Osama)
Oh, and Bush has named the successor to Tenet. Here's our new head of the CIA:
Congressman (R) Peter Goss. Goss? Goss? Now why does that name sound familiar?
Oh yeah! Remember the four 9-11 widows that have been doing more investigation and asking better questions than anyone else concerning 9-11? I do. And I also remember this little nugget:
"The four moms—Kristen Breitweiser, Patty Casazza, Mindy Kleinberg and Lorie van Auken—use tactics more like those of a leaderless cell. They have learned how to deposit their assorted seven children with select grandmothers before dawn and rocket down the Garden State Parkway to Washington. They have become experts at changing out of pedal-pushers and into proper pantsuits while their S.U.V. is stopped in traffic, so they can hit the Capitol rotunda running. They have talked strategy with Senator John McCain and Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle. They once caught Congressman Porter Goss hiding behind his office door to avoid them. And they maintain an open line of communication with the White House."
(Italics mine)
So, we have some guy running the C.I.A. who is scared of talking to four widows from New Jersey about 9-11? Oh yeah, this will be a good choice for the nation. Thanks W!

So is it all that bad? Yes, yes it is. Especially when this happens. Goddammit. He better be playing oppossum.

And, yes, we all know Rick James died, but what about Mr. Ronald Isley and his minor stroke?
See, I heard all my white friends mention Rick James like they gave a fuck about him before the Chapelle Show skit, but NOT ONE mentioned Mr. Biggs. I mean, do these crackers know that he is the reason they all know the lyrics to "Today Was A Good Day" (what I mean is that, without that "Between the Sheets" sample, that song would be weeeeeeak)? Get well soon, my man.
And with that, I'm out. Time to study up on my Espanol. Hasta Luego!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

This Young Man Is Growing Up...

I apologize for the delay in updates, but as the title suggests, I have been busy with real-life shit, so I ain't got no time for the bloggin'. I've been makin' some moves lately and I really have not had the time to sit down behind the computer and compose, but hey, today is Sunday, so while God is resting I'll be working on some hot links. Belieeee dat.

Yo, if there's any new beat-makers out there (like myself) who are spending their days searching for the "Assembly Line" drums or those real funky open-drum breaks from your moms old 45's, then you need to peep this article. I spotted it at O-dub's spot, who spotted it at Crunkster. Or, if you are just interested in some (almost) forgotten hip-hop lore, read that article about Paul C. Dave Thompkins writing is amazing. Really.

"I'm dead bitch."
So I get to this party last night, get a cup of the beer and my boy Jon Mac is like "Rick James is dead." Gotdamn! Apparently his lifestyle came back to get him in the form of wearing out his funky heart. I hope it was quick. Rest in Peace Rick.

Yo, I got a plan to help out the homeless peeps in my city. Check out my plan:
First, go buy one of these videos from this magic site. Then, organize a time for a buncha homeless people to meet at the Wheeler Mission and start showing them magic tricks. Once they get these tricks down, then you send them back on the streets to amaze the average Hoosier with their card-tricks and levitation. If some homeless dude runs up on me askin' for change I'll usually give him some coins, but if some dude asked for spare change while levitating then he'd get some bills fo' sho. Then we would have a charming atmosphere downtown with the homeless street magicians impressing all the Japanese tourists that come here. And speaking of that, why do so many Japanese tourists come here to Indy? I don't get it but I love it. And I know they'd love homeless magicians. Plus, wouldn't it be awesome if after a while they terrorized the city with their playing cards? Like they learn how to throw these cards like Ricky Jay and then they start having card battles and piercing each other with playing cards. Damn that's hot!
Best idea I've had today, besides planning on going home and taking a nap.

And hey, speaking of naps, why don't you go take one while I get back to this Hunter S. Thompson book I'm reading. Get off the internet son, you're looking a bit pasty. Next time I'll be back with a more inspired (or insepid) post. Until then, keep your nose clean.

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