Thursday, January 13, 2005

Why Is The Back Of Fat Joe's Head So Photogenic?

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Exhibit A

So I was flipping through this "Hip Hop Immortals" book my brother brought over to the crib and peepin' all the hip hop heads pictured with the shitty general description of the artists when I started to notice a disturbing trend with Fat Joe's pictures. Out of three pictures of Fat Joe, two are of the back of his head. I thought this was kind of weird until I was flipping through the latest issue of "Elemental" magazine and I saw another picture of the back of Fat Joe's head. Now I'm no fan of Fat Joe and I am certainly no fan of men, so I gotta ask:
What is so damn interesting about the back of Fat Joe's cranium?
I could understand if he had the hot-dog neck where the folds of fat crinkle up to look like a plump pack of franks, but he lacks this fat-man characteristic. If he had these tell-tale fat-roll-franks then I might suspect that the photographer was photographing his rhyme essence, the very spot in his body where he stores his rhymes, but this is not so. See exhibit B:
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See? No Hot-Dog Neck! So what's the deal?!?
The only thing I can see that is kinda interesting about the last picture is the fact that that little crease kinda looks like a mouth you might find on a jack 'o lantern, or the mouth of the Onyx logo (remember that? No? Well, here's a refresher...).
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I bet if Fat Joe just had someone draw the Onyx logo on the back of his dome he might be able to inspire Fredro Starr and Sticky Fingaz to give up the acting and get back to making rap songs about beating the shit out of bootleggers like on "Bacdafucup" but perhaps I'm just dreaming (and I think I am since those Onyx CD's they made after the 1st one pretty much sucked).
Either way, I still can't figure out what the deal is with the back of Fat Joe's neck. If this dude was smart he's be renting out the back of his neck to corporations for product placement since his back is photographed way more than his front. Can any of you explain this phenomenon to me? The mystery of Fat Joe's neck eludes me...
Still Coming:
The Rise and Fall of O'Shea Jackson.
I've been working on gathering info. It'll be worth the wait...

i think that its just a matter that the back is better than the front (no homo just in case)
yep, he's just not too good is he. Well, I'm looking for a post about why MLK would be against Kanye getting a Grammy, or why he would be against most shitty hip hop today. Maybe I'll write it and send it to (no homo?) your brother
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