Wednesday, May 18, 2005

GODDAMMIT! FUCK! SHIT! COCKSUCKER-MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!
or
I've Moved!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
"A whole neighborhood fulla crackas! NOOOOOOOOO!"

So I got booted out of my crib rather unceremoniously on Sunday and I now find myself in a new place which is much better than my previous pad (as far as creature comforts go) but a little more expensive and closer to neighbors. For the last 9 months I've had the benefit of living a good distance from my neighbors so I've been free to take all kinds of psychedelic mushrooms and communicate with nature naked. I never actually did any of that but I did relish being able to step out of my front door (if one of my roommates was using the only bathroom) and piss all over a tree or small woodland creature or whatever.

Unfortunately the golden age is over (get it? get it?) and I now find myself living in a neighborhood where all the homes are stacked together as close as possible. If it wasn't bad enough that I actually have to live next to people, I also have to live with a bunch of goddamn cracka-ass-crackas next to me. Understand dear reader, that these crackas are unlike anything you have experienced, for they are the Indiana (or "Hoosier" if you prefer) crackas and they are of a unique breed. I'll explain more in the next few posts. I should also point out that I am a cracka myself, but I have a superiority complex over my fellow crackas for no good reason.

Also, a number of policemen live in my neighborhood so I can't start the meth lab I've been planning on creating. Perhaps I'll install a moonshine still in my backyard. Is that illegal?

I dunno, but I have a mixed feeling of dread and delight when I anticipate all the neighborhood drama I will get to witness now that I'm in one of these manufactured neighborhoods and all the cracka-ass children are out of school. At least this place has a neighborhood pool where I can scope the MILF's and their "blossoming" daughters. Plus it sounds like my neighbor plays speed-metal guitar in the afternoons so that should be fun to listen to as I pop another Champagne and let the neighborhood entertain me. As soon as I get the internets hooked up I'll start posting up pictures of the crazy shit I see regularly. Expect mullets. Lots and lots of mullets. You have been warned.
*out*

Comments:
> I never actually did any of that but I did relish being able to step out of my front door (if one of my roommates was using the only bathroom) and piss all over a tree or small woodland creature or whatever.

heh, i did that a couple times @ my old house, except on the small garden in the back. the difference being that all of the small gardens between the houses were only separated by one wall, and one could easily see the next garden cause the walls werent that tall.
 
see that's why being a male rules.
Fuck all that meunstration bullshit. nhjic.
goddamn you djxplicit, your no homo ways have rubbed off on me.
no homo of course.
 
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?