Tuesday, May 03, 2005

My Shitty Record Reviews


Two Reasons I'll Never Get Paid To Write About Music

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So I went to Best Buy today cuz I had a gift certificate to use and I figured I might be able to find something new to listen to. In fact, I found two albums to listen to and I wanted to share the experience with you. I picked up "Jam Room" by Clutch (which I thought was new but apparently it's a re-release but it's new to me...) and it fucking rocks. If you don't know who Clutch is then I pity you, but I don't hold it against you. Go do yourself a favor and visit their site that I linked to above.
If you insist on not visiting their site then I'll go ahead and describe them as some good-ol'-boys who love to make foot-stompin' rock n' roll. Their music consists of lots of crunchy guitars, wha-wha pedals and a bass player who can lock down a solid groove with the drummer. The singer sings about stuff like catfish bones and cornbread and he has an awesome gruff growl that most rock singers wish they possesed. The last time I saw these guys at my local-sub-par venue the singer was rockin' a thicker beard than Abe Lincoln and screaming about Jesus on the dashboard. It was great. Of course, that has nothing to do with their music but I think the rock factor is increased ten-fold if you have a singer with a huge beard. I also just made that up.
Either way, if you can appreciate some good foot-stompin' rock that makes you want to yell like a drunken sailor then Clutch is for you. Also, if you ever can, go catch these guys at your local bar when they come through town. They don't charge much for admission but they rock like everyone paid a hundred dollars for a ticket. They are (for my money) the most rockin' band out there and you are a sad individual if you like rock and don't own any Clutch. Oh yeah, this album is just one big 15 track jam with lots of drum breaks and grooves that will break your neck. That's the review.

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I guess this came out today so I picked it up and thought "Do I have any weed? Yes I do." so I bought this crazy shit knowing that I'd have to be smokin' while listening to it eventually. I listened to it once without the herbal influence and it's pretty much as weird as the first Quasimodo album. (By the way if you don't know who Quasimodo is then I have no idea why you are here at my site since I figure both djxplicit and the 2 other people that read this are up on underground hip-hop. If you need help go to Stones Throw and learn.)
So anyway, Madlib's sped-up voice is back for another adventure and it's pretty fucking weird to my sober mind. The album is pretty slow in spots but it makes up for the slow tempos with the strange sound-clips that pop in and out of the tracks. Also, madlib re-uses a bunch of samples he's already used ( kinda like that One Beer song on MF Doom's new album that's also on Jaylib). If you've heard Madvillany then you'll recognize some audio snippets throughout the album. Still, this album is either genius or garbage. I tend to think it's more of the first than the last, but I would figure that most people will either love or hate Lord Quas so it could go either way. If you appreciate all kinds of music and experimentation then you'll probably dig this shit, but if you want some crappy experimental "hip-hop" then I would suggest buying some Anticon.
On a side note, I'd like to voice my disdain for Anticon right now:
I have never heard shittier music in my life. Fucking Lincoln Park is more hip hop than them.
Also, Dose-One is the most annoying rapper ever. He sounds like he's holding his nose when he rhymes. *Echhhhh!* End rant.
Anyhoo, I dig this Quas album cuz I know what to expect and I'm pretty sure that once I start blazin' the ism and bumpin this in the Taco (Toyota Tacoma) I'll love this like the first album.
A few good tracks that stand out in my mind are: Rappcats pt. 3, Closer, and The Exclusive.
Also, I don't really feel dissapointed with this album like most hip-hop I hear these days. Yay!
A question for you, dear readers:
Do you know anyone who likes Quasimodo but does not smoke weed?
I sure don't but I suspect they exist.

1) i dont smoke
2) i cant get into the shit (no homo) because of the sped-up deal. i find that annoying in 30 seconds. i can dig the beats, tho. nhijc. is there an instrumental version?
3) fuck anticon (no homo)
4) I own the stones throw 101 mix cd. i knew who MED, talib, jaylib, quasimoto (am i the only one who spells it with a "t?"), madvillain, peanut butter wolf, charizma, planet asia, lootpack, wildchild and cut chemist were. everyone else = god knows.
1)good for you. it ain't for everyone.
2)I'm sure there will be an instrumental at some point.
3)yes, no homo.
4)you're right, it is quasimoTo...I smoke entirely too much weed. It's even spelled Quasimoto on that record cover. Sheesh. Anybody else on that Stones Throw 101 is really not even worth listening to. Dudley Perkins, Gary Wilson and everyone else just seem like a waste of space but to each his own...
Drugs are just bad, you should try to use Herbal Alternatives as a temporary replacement to loose the dependance!
I wish I could blog as good as you, but what I can do is give you a nice Guitar Lesson!
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