Tuesday, July 12, 2005

These Idiots In Flordia Have Got It All Wrong
Why We Need More Florida Homosexuals

So I'm over at Blah3 checking out the latest news on the Karl Rove/Valerie Plame scandal hoping that Rove gets fed to the wolves like the fat pig-bastard scum-fucker that he is when I come across this article. Now, in case you click on the link and it takes you to a registration page and you don't want to sign up (and I can't blame you if you don't) I have taken the liberty of pulling the most relevent information out of the article and pasting it onto my blog like an intellectual thief (or plagarist, whichever you prefer). I do this for you of course, and think nothing of violating intellectual laws because ya'll need to be on the same page as me as I formulate my post, and that is the most important part of all.

Anyhoo, a bunch of goddamn Christians in a diversity committe for the Broward County schools in Florida (or at least, I assume they are a bunch of Christians...who else spends a big amount of their time worrying about homosexuality?) that probably look a lot like these crackers to my left, decided not to show a video that promoted tolerance and diversity to the kids in their schools because they think the video "could confuse children about the difference between family members and strangers and open the door to discussion about sexual orientation." In fact, "Officials with the Broward County Christian Coalition, who viewed the video after hearing from a diversity committee member, said the underlying message of the DVD and accompanying teaching material promoted a homosexual agenda." Now of course, as the article says, "The controversy stems not from any explicit mention of homosexuality in the video -- there isn't any -- but from its theme that people are all part of one big family, a message that, critics contend, could be construed to include pedophiles and other criminals. They also fear that the video could blunt other important messages for kids of that age, like the importance of being wary of strangers."

Now look, I understand that parents want to save their children from all those strangers and pedophiles in Florida so that their kids can grow up right AND THEN become meth-addicts like so many others in the sunshine state, but these goddamn parents have got it all wrong. We, as a nation, desperately need more homosexual children, and we need more Florida homosexual children than ever before ( I wonder if I get a bunch of traffic from google because of that sentence?). Please allow me to explain myself:

As I have discussed before, Fundamentalist Christianity needs to be destroyed for the good of our nation. I would now like to extend that argument to include all well-meaning Christians in positions of power. See, these Christians in the diversity committe only want to save their children from the insidious menace that is homosexuality because they want their children to grow up as Christians and reproduce more Christians until they can finally do all the kooky shit that they think the bible tells them they should do in order to be better Christians. This is where they have it all wrong. We do not need any more heterosexual children in this nation (as evidenced by all the "little mistakes" in my neighborhood) and we certainly don't need any more heterosexual children in Florida because that implies that we actually value heterosexual children. This is certainly not the case, because heterosexual children reproduce. And, as I'm sure most of the world will agree with me on this one, we certainly don't need any more heterosexual Americans telling other people how to live their life (except for me of course) because those mu'fuckahs are boring as shit. For the sake of a better dressing and more humorous nation (you know what I just implied...) we must encourage our children to be homosexuals because we don't need any more Americans reproducing and continuing the cycle of fucking up the world. And that goes double for you mu'fuckahs in Florida who helped George Bush win the election and exported marginal musicians like Fred Durst and Vanilla Ice to the rest of the 49 states and for that matter, the world. All of this catastrophy could have been avoided if these rat-bastards in Florida weren't reproducing like, well... rats. Think of how much pain and suffering you have had to endure because of Floridians reproductive tendencies: Limp Bizkit, Katharine harris, Jeb Bush's coke-head daughter, the career of Uncle Luke AFTER 2 Live Crew and many other horrific atrocities perpetrated upon an unsuspecting world. Obviously my argument is sound so you must agree with what I write.

So let's stop trying to keep our kids heterosexual when it's obviously much better to encourage the slow gradual death of the dominating culture that ruins this world for the rest of us. Do your part and raise your Floridian (or any American) children(but mainly Floridians) gay so we can all enjoy living life without being concerned about the agendas that imaginary puppets on pbs may or may not be promoting to children. Oh, and burn an American flag like I did on July 4th. You don't even need to soak it in gas or anything 'cause those mu'fuckash were made to burn, and it's not illegal yet. In conclusion, the High-Life is beginning to kick in and I'm having trouble typing so I'm signing off. There's your new post noodles. Send me that spare change.

These fundementalist Christians need to stop fucking it up for lazy Christians like me. Just because they are nuts does not make me crazy because I believe in the same thing as them.

Every week, somebody wants to argue with me, trying to prove that I'm wrong for being a Christian, or for being a hypocrite (I work at a store that is associated with Gays).

Fuck fundementalists
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