Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Do Hot Conservatives Exsist? OR These Bitches Don't Fool Me.





So I guess the obvious answer to my own question is no (Ian thinks M.M. is hot though). Ann Coulter (on the left) has an Adam's apple so she's a man. A skinny ugly man, but a man nonetheless. And something is up with Michelle Malkin too. All I know is that the first time I saw her crazy house-jap (I'll explain later) flat-ass I was like "Goddamn! Another dumpy conservative chick! Where do they come from?" But now, as she's made the rounds on Cable Networks to talk shit about Cindy Sheehan (google her name if you don't know about her) and her dead son, I've noticed that she's got a new image. She dropped the glasses (which I swear I once saw her in) and dropped the weight apparently. And she figured out how to apply make-up Let's look at the exhibits:
Exhibit A (my first introduction)
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
and Exhibit B:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
See? Where did all those pock-marks and zits go? I will admit that she is better looking, but she's certainly not attractive. Plus, her trimming her eyebrows, slathering on makeup and lightening her hair doesn't mean she any less of a crazy bitch than before. I mean, c'mon...ugly on the inside equals ugly on the outside right? I just watched some video of her on the O'Reilly show talking about how she knew that Cindy Sheenan's son wouldn't approve of his mother's behavior. So what, now that she's less dumpy-lookin' she can communicate with the dead? If that's the case then I'm calling up some ugly-bitches from High-School (cuz I bet at least one of them looks good now) and I'm gonna have them help me talk to Eazy-E. Sounds like fun.

Either way, these Conservative women like M.M. or A.C. are hilarious to watch because they spout the most insane arguments that I've ever heard and you can tell that their whole "I'm tough" image is just a flimsy facade to mask whatever insecurities they have. These bitches are so repressed and self-loathing (no doubt because of repeated rapes by their respective fathers) that they'll say anything just to establish themselves as an authority. I mean, Michelle Malkin actually wrote a book about how the Jap internmnet camps were a good idea. Isn't that like Cornel West writing a paper about how slavery was a good thing because it made America so wealthy? Amazing! The only reason these crazy bitches are who they are today is because they hate themselves and they just project that hate onto others so they can get paid. But they don't fool me. Ann Coulter looks like a man and she always will. She says what she says becuase she knows she ugly and she hates herself. No doubt Malkin was really fat at one point in her life and so she feels she has something to prove. She may know how to use makeup but I know that she's really a fat girl. I can tell. I bet there's high-school pictures out there that prove my theory.
*out*

Comments:
There are tons of hot conservatives, but they just don't happen to be talking heads. Any girl at UGA that has a W sticker is almost guaranteed to be fine as the great outdoors.
 
LMAO

Brilliant post. That's it, I'm bookmarking this place.
 
Ann Coulter was the editor of the Mich. L. Rev. which translates to more intellegent than 98% of the world. She is crazy however which mitigates her intellegence.
 
Your shit's funny, but let's get a few things straight: They were not Jap camps -- the people they put in the camps were Americans.
MM is not a Jap -- she's filipina.
And I don't give a fuck what race you are, but if you use the word Jap around me I'll pull a Bruce Lee on your ass and straight fuck you up.
 
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