Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Evil Republican Cocksuckers Update

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This picture says it all: He's toast.

(Most links( and the picture) stolen from blah3 and atrios and cursor...visit them for the full scoop)

It's a mixed day of emotions today as I check upon the status of the corrupt politicians that keep the proletariat down and suck the wealth out of this country for their own selfish interests and...oops. I forgot that the key to blogging these days is to be aloof. My bad. Anyway, before I get too carried away with a political tirade, let's check the status of a few Republican cocksuckers shall we?

First up is Tom De Lay, who was indicted today for being a lying cocksucker. Here's the scoop:

"AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - The second-ranking Republican in the U.S. House of
Representatives, Majority Leader Tom DeLay, was indicted on Wednesday on a
felony campaign-finance charge and temporarily stepped down from his
The powerful Republican, nicknamed "The Hammer" for his reputation as a
tough party enforcer, could face up to two years in prison if convicted on the
charge handed up by the Travis County grand jury in the Texas state capital,
DeLay was indicted on a single conspiracy charge tied to illegal
fund-raising activities by Texans for a Republican Majority, or TRMPAC, a
political action committee he created, the Travis County District Attorney's
office said."

Check the link for the rest. Let's hope he's convicted and he get's to chill in jail for 2 years.
I doubt he will, but one can dream I suppose.

Next up on the Evil Republican cocksucker watch (patent pending) is Bill Frist who is currently under investigation for (basically) insider trading. Here's the deal:

"Sept. 28 (Bloomberg) -- U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist faces a
near-term ordeal unwelcome to anyone, particularly an ambitious politician: an
official probe into his personal financial dealings by the U.S. Securities and
Exchange Commission.
The SEC authorized a formal order of investigation of
Frist's sale in June of HCA Inc. shares, people with direct knowledge of the
inquiry said yesterday. The order allows the agency's enforcement unit to
subpoena documents and compel witnesses to testify, said the people, who asked
not to be identified because the order hasn't been made public. "

Now, this doesn't insure his downfall, but it is interesting to note that the second most powerful Republican in the House and the Republican Senate Majority leader are both being investigated for corruption. My mom used to say: "You can often judge people by the company they keep" and I say "All Republicans are evil cocksuckers" so I'm sure you get the picture here.

Let's hope they both go to jail and they get sodomized repeatedly until their respective colons burst and they writhe on the jail cell floor as their excrement slowly poisons them from the inside until they slip from this mortal coil and begin their descent into hell where they can take turns suckling the gleaming nipples of Ronald Reagan whilst fellatiating William Rehnquist's flaccid penis as Satan drops huge flaming turds onto their pasty white chests for the rest of eternity. Anything less would be unacceptable and you know I'm right.

Also, that evil fuck Michael "Drownie" Brown did some testifying today.

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That sign is an insult to everyone who died on his "watch".

The short version of Drownie's defense is that basically, it was the Democrat's fault FEMA had such a poor response to the NOLA debacle. He blames Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco (both Dem's) for his own incompetence. Here's an article to read. What a cocksucker.

So yo, I had an idea on how to fund the reconstruction of those hit by the hurricanes of the last few weeks:
Let's handcuff Michael Brown to a bicycle rack and charge citizens say, five dollars, to kick him in the nuts (or ten dollars for a kick to the skull). We'll take this act on the road and stop at every major city in the U.S. until we raise enough money or he dies from massive trauma and internal bleeding. Either way, it'd be a perfect way to help those afflicted by the hurricanes and that way we wouldn't have to worry about making innocent people suffer for the incompetence of others. The blood of Michael Brown can help soothe the wounds of our nation like balm.
Call your Senators and representatives and tell them to support my plan.
That is all for now.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Ford Escort + Hunter S. Thompson stencil = Terror of the Indianapolis East-Side
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Look at how high the driver is...I feel stoned just looking at it.

This is my boy ODBeck's once-standard Ford Escort now customized with the finest of painted ply-wood and original chiseven Hunter S. Thompson stencil and now the terror of the East Side of Indianapolis. Many pedestrians and motorists alike shudder with fear when they hear the growling sounds (no muffler needed) of said vehicle. This vehicle commands respect. Old men lose bodily functions when the Escort rolls through. It's that intimidating. Luckily, I have been able to document this monstrosity in a less intimidating manner than a personal encounter provides so your pants shall remain spotless. Unless of course, you've been visiting my neighbor's website, which is understandable. Also, if you peep the background you can see the manufactured neighborhood I live in and understand why I feel like I'm losing a little bit of my soul everyday I stay there. Everything looks the same. On a related note; due to ODBeck's copious marijuana consumption we have perfected the technique of breaking into his Ford Escort to retrive keys locked inside. I have been thinking of providing a step-by-step photo illustration to show you how to enter any Escort without keys (purely for academic purposes of course). Let me know if that's something you'd like to see in the comments.
Also, check out the Humanity Critic linked on the right. Dude is on fire these days.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

What A Little Girl

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You've probably seen it but what the hell.
Bush at the U.N.
Link here.
First ever double post.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hugo Chavez=Best President Ever Anywhere
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As Fidel can tell Hugo, "Regularly punking the U.S. will make you live forever."

So by now everyone knows that that insane country bumpkin white-bread eatin' cracka-ass-cracka Pat Robertson actually called upon God to have the U.S. kill Hugo Chavez because, well, obviously Robertson's neurons aren't firing correctly these days, and it's suspected that they never were. Obviously when you think that God would strike down a champion of the oppressed and downtrodden because he's helping poor people then you've strayed from your faith. Sure Robertson made a half-apology later, but it should be obvious to all: Robertson is a hypocrite and a fraud and a worm and most importantly, a really bad Christian. He already has no problem with killing off Africans and burying them alive in his diamond mines, so it should come as no suprise that he would pray for God to kill Chavez on national televison (true, I have no idea who actually would watch the 700 Club but it is nation-wide nonetheless). But fuck him (nhjic). He threatened the greatest President anywhere, ever.

But Hugo Chavez ain't scared. He wants the U.S. Government to charge Robertson with criminal charges. He's right too, we should have locked this lying scum-fucker up years ago so he'll shut up and not influence any under-educated fools in North Carolina or wherever it is that they listen to evangelist fucks like him. But I digress...

Chavez ain't scared of Robertson or Bush or anyone else for that matter because he's armed with the truth that he dispenses so freely. Peep game:

"Hitting out at US President George W. Bush, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Frias calls him the "Vacation President" that does not have an evacuation plan for areas hit by Hurricane Katrina.
"They had been saying 4 days before the hurricane struck that it was on a direct path and Vacation King at his ranch told people to flee but did not say how ... cowboy mentality."
It is incredible, Chavez Frias says, that the world's greatest power with its planes, helicopters, scientific advances did not have any evacuation plan.
Pushing the knife in a bit deeper, the Venezuelan President urges the USA to copy Cuba that has developed the capacity to move 2 million people in the event of any meteorological event.
Expressing solidarity and grief for those affected by the hurricane, Chavez Frias says his government is ready to send rescue and salvage teams to the USA to help and has announced a donation of $1 million towards reconstruction efforts." Link here. (On a side note, who is that hottie shaking Bush's hand on that last website I linked to? Damn!)

And on top of donating money to victims of the hurricane, he also wants to help out U.S. victims affected by greed condoned by their own government. How? By selling oil directly to poor communities in the U.S. How fucking gully is that? Our rich ass "president" hasn't donated shit to any relief efforts and he's helping all his oil-buddies by allowing them to gouge the American public with obscene gas rates when they are already posting record-profits for this year and some South American president decides that HE wants to help us out even though we've tried to oust him twice now? That is the mark of a true player. Americans could learn alot about what a president should do by observing Chavez. Therefore, mystuntedgrowth awards him the first ever "Best President Anywhere, Ever" award. And we're still waiting to hear back from the Venezuelan government regarding my earlier invitation. Also, props to thabboy for linking to this site. I'll put you on the permanent link list soon mang. Adios!

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