Saturday, April 23, 2005

I Can't Get Enough Of These Korean Karaoke Singers!!!

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Lookin' like Pac-Man : *Gobble Gobble Gobble*


I was bored at work, killin' some time and lurking the soulstrut forums when I found this post.
Which led me to this, (really, click on this link!) which I now share with both of my readers. Enjoy, and turn the speakers up so your boss or whoever can appreciate it too.

In other news the personal life keeps getting busier so that's why there's been no updates.
Sorry ya'll.
And I'm pissed that some mu'fuckah with a comb-over is gonna make me spring forward.
Goddammit (Confused? Scroll down).
Aiiight, I'm out. Workin' on a Pope Post I started last week.
Also, I'm gonna freshen up the place a bit and do some more linkage and what-not if I can set aside the time.
*OUT*

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

POPE-DIESEL

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"Rise from your grave! This I command!"
(The new Pope looks like Bela Legosi)

So those crazy 'lics went and picked a new Pope that is waaay more Gangsta than the last one. I mean, if JPII was the Joan Baez of Catholicism then this new cat is like Slayer or Napalm Death for 'lics (I think that was a pretty crappy analogy but whatever). Apparently this new Pope doesn't care too much for homosexuals, liberal Catholics or rock music, so I think the Catholic Church made a pretty good choice for the face of their organization (Thanks for the links Ian!). I only say this of course, because I think that Catholicism is pretty much the sole organized religion that embodies everything that is wrong with religion in one aspect or another. When I think of Catholics I think of molestation, drinking, people reproducing like rabbits, Latin, sinning and the tendency for it's followers to be hypocrites with a false sense of moral-superiority over everyone else. But that's just me. If you think I'm being biased then blame the Catholic Church for bad PR cuz that's all based on observation.

Anyway, I think the pick for the new Pope is great because now the Catholic Church doesn't have to front like it wants to love everyone while condemning homosexuals or people who get abortions. The Catholic Church shouldn't give a fuck what anybody else thinks of them cuz as far as religions go they are the proverbial 800 lb. Gorilla. Fo' rilla. Now they got this Pope who may-or-may-not have liked being a Hitler Youth and is called "God's Rottweiler" so that to me is basically saying, "Hey World, Fuck Off. The Catholic Church Does Whatever The Fuck It Wants." I know when he first appeared as the Pope he was all "I want to love everyone" but mark these words, this new Pope-Diesel is going to start some shit.

Look, if this cat says that rock music is the "vehicle of antireligion" and that Buddhism is a "religion for the self-indulgent" ( quotes taken from that last link) then I wouldn't be suprised if he invited the Dalai Lama over to the Vatican just to strangle him to death as he burns out the D.L.'s eyes with his own robotic-laser-Pope-Eyes (patent pending). After that, I could see him tossing the D.L.'s corpse to the side as he blasts out of the roof of the Vatican City to go blow up Mecca and that giant box with the rock in it. You know what I'm talkin' about.

This new Pope will have superpowers too. I guarantee that the last Pope was dead for years, but the Catholic Church had enough money to create some technology that turned JPII into a walking animatronic Pope. You ever been to Disneyland and seen those robots move? That's what I'm talkin' about! Now that they have an old dude who is still alive they are no doubt rewiring his nervous system with DSL and all sorts of neat shit that'll make him bionic and un-fuck-wittable. Those Catholics are rich so "they have the technology to rebuild him." He'll be the first Pope to excommunicate somebody by crushing them with his metal exo-skeleton. He'll also drink blood and have an ICBM where his never-used dick used to be. Shit's crazy!
Oh man, I'm going to hell. Oh well. They shoulda picked some South American to be the pope.
But seriously, beware the new Pope. I don't trust him.

*out*

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

No Motherfucker With A Comb-Over Is Going To Tell Me To Spring Forward

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You aren't fooling anyone Mitch.(But that girl in the corner is pretty fly!)

As both of my readers know, I live in Indiana where we, as well as Arizona and Hawaii (i think), don't observe daylight-savings time because it's fucking retarded. It's basically one of the only cool things about living in Indiana because in the spring all the TV shows are on an hour earlier and I don't have to fuck around with setting clocks like the rest of you poor souls out there. I must admit that I have lived in Indiana all of my life and as a result I don't understand the advantages, if there are any, of changing your clock an hour twice a year. To me, the act seems futile. Time never changes, so why try and set your clock an hour ahead to pretend it's earlier or later or whatever? What is this massive illusion that descends upon time in the spring and fall? I fear it.

Anyway, I don't usually care about Daylight Savings Time because it doesn't affect me, but now, thanks to local idiot legislators and my balding governor Mitch Daniels, myself and the rest of Indiana will be drinking the DST Kool-Aid in April of 2006. Well, maybe. It is a close vote so there is a chance that I won't actually have to participate in this massive illusion next year, but I'm still pissed that my local representatives in Indianapolis actually considered it. I owe a big "goddamn you" to my new Governor Mitch Daniels, who used to be part of the Bush administration , and is a big backer of the change. In fact, he calls it a "top priority" in his tenure as Governor. I don't trust this self-decieving, pig-kissin', possible-white-collar-crook for one second. This switch to DST is some insidious plot to enslave me through capitalism and bring back Liberace from the dead. I know because my dog told me before he moved to Missouri where he was tragically killed by a Station Wagon back in '97 or '98. Oh Nacho, I miss you so.


But seriously, fuck Daylight Savings Time. I understand the benefits for the economy and the environment and usually I'd be down for those causes, but I just want to be able to ensure that the youth of Indiana can maybe catch some orno's (no "p" because there's no penetration) on Skinamax because all the programs are on an hour earlier. When you are in 8th grade, ornos are the best reward of staying up past your bed-time watching cable. Anybody remember Sherman Oaks? What about those shitty Pamela Anderson movies where the whole plot of the movie led up to her pullin' out those silicone titties? That's what 8th grade was all about in the Spring-Time! Damn! Look, DST may save people money but it will not help young children get exposed to crappy B-Movie ornos, thus enabling them to live a normal life. Since I have always been about saving the children, I must condone DST, because otherwise, who will think of the children?


Oh and on a side note, Embrace of the Vampire is the best orno ever made. Discuss.
*out*

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